Workplace Bullying: Recognising the Signs and Taking Action
When we think of bullying, our minds often jump to the school playground - but that bullying behaviour doesn’t stop with childhood. It can and does happen in the workplace, sometimes in subtle ways that make it difficult to pinpoint, and more difficult to address. If you often leave work feeling drained, anxious, or doubting yourself, you might be experiencing workplace bullying without even realising it.
In this post we’ll explore how to recognise it, and what you can do about it – as someone on the receiving end, and as a manager.
What is Workplace Bullying?
Repeated, unreasonable behaviour directed towards an individual or group is what characterises workplace bullying. It can be overt—such as verbal abuse, intimidation, or excessive criticism—or it can be more under the radar, manifesting as exclusion, manipulation, or gaslighting. Gaslighting is particularly dangerous because it makes the victim question their own perceptions and memories, leaving them unsure of what is real and what isn’t.
Unlike a single instance of rude or unkind behaviour, bullying is persistent. It can be carried out by a manager, a colleague, or even a group of people – and because bullying can be so subtle, many victims don’t even realise it’s happening to them until they are already suffering from its effects.
The Physical and Mental Impact of Workplace Bullying
Bullying at work isn’t just unpleasant - it can have serious consequences for our mental and physical health. One of the most damaging aspects of workplace bullying is how it undermines our confidence and self-trust. Victims often start to second-guess themselves, wondering if they are imagining things or being overly sensitive. This is especially true when gaslighting is involved, as the bully may dismiss any concerns that are raised with them, making the victim feel irrational or even paranoid.
Common signs that you might be experiencing workplace bullying include:
Mental and Emotional Symptoms:
- Persistent anxiety or dread about going to work
- Loss of confidence in your abilities and judgement
- Feeling isolated or excluded from colleagues
- Constant self-doubt and over-apologising
- Mood swings, irritability, or depression
- Difficulty concentrating and making decisions
Physical Symptoms:
- Chronic fatigue and exhaustion
- Headaches or muscle tension
- Stomach issues or digestive problems
- Insomnia or disturbed sleep patterns
- Increased susceptibility to illness due to stress
If you’ve been feeling this way without understanding why, it’s worth considering whether workplace bullying might be the cause.
Examples of Workplace Bullying
Example 1: The Undermining Boss
Emma has always been a high performer. However, after getting a new manager, she starts to feel incompetent. Her manager constantly checks her work, and gives her lots of unnecessary tasks to keep her busy. He adds pressure, suddenly giving her new deadlines for tasks with little notice. He criticises ,in subtle ways – nothing specific, but all implied – and often throws out back-handed compliments in meetings, such as, “Emma was responsible for this, and it’s not bad at all, going by her usual standard”.
All of this mounts up to create a whirl of confusion for Emma about her performance and her place in the organisation as a whole. She starts to doubt her ability to do the job at all, and avoids speaking up in meetings or offering her opinions and suggestions. Over time, her ambition to seek out new development challenges disappears, and she becomes anxious and withdrawn, unsure if she’s even fit for the job she previously excelled in. She starts to dread going into work on a Monday morning.
Example 2: The Exclusion Tactic
Raj enjoys his job but starts noticing that he’s being left out of key discussions. His colleagues go for lunch without inviting him, and he’s not included in important emails. When he tries to bring up his concerns, he’s brushed off with comments like, “You’re overthinking it.” He begins to feel invisible and wonders if he’s just not likable. His motivation drops, and he struggles to stay engaged at work.
If either of these examples sounds familiar, it might be time to take action.
What Can You Do?
If you suspect you’re experiencing workplace bullying, here are some steps you can take:
1. Trust your feelings. If something feels wrong, don’t dismiss it. Your emotions and reactions are valid.
2. Document everything. Keep a record of incidents, including dates, times, and any witnesses. Save emails or messages that demonstrate bullying behaviour.
3. Seek support. Talk to a trusted colleague, mentor, or HR representative.
4. Set boundaries. If possible, address the behaviour directly with the person involved. Use calm, assertive language to express how their actions impact you.
5. Know your rights. Research your company’s policies on bullying and harassment. In severe cases, seeking legal advice or external mediation may be necessary.
As all this is happening, it’s important to prioritise your wellbeing too, in and out of the office. Try exercise, therapy, or relaxation techniques to manage stress and rebuild your confidence.
Addressing Bullying as a Manager
It’s something most managers dread having to deal with, but having a manager who is willing to listen and take action is vital for an employee who is experiencing this. Here are some of the ways you can establish an anti-bullying culture, and deal with issues should they arise.
1. Foster Psychological Safety Through Open Communication
Encourage employees to speak up if they feel uncomfortable or mistreated. An open-door policy and regular check-ins can help create a culture where employees feel safe discussing their concerns, knowing that they will be heard and that they won’t be taking a risk in voicing their issues.
2. Set Clear Expectations
Establish and communicate workplace behaviour standards. Make it clear that bullying will not be tolerated, and outline the consequences for inappropriate behaviour.
3. Recognise the Signs
Be attentive to changes in employee behaviour, such as withdrawal, increased absenteeism, or sudden declines in performance. These can be red flags that something is wrong.
4. Address Complaints Promptly and Fairly
Take all reports of bullying seriously and investigate them thoroughly. Listen to both parties and avoid dismissing complaints as personality conflicts.
5. Provide Training and Support
Offer training on workplace bullying and conflict resolution. Educate employees and managers on how to recognise, report, and address bullying behaviour.
6. Lead by Example
Model respectful behaviour in all interactions. Demonstrate professionalism, fairness, and empathy in your leadership approach.
7. Create Anonymous Reporting Options
Some employees may fear retaliation if they report bullying. Providing anonymous reporting channels can encourage employees to come forward without fear.
Establishing the right culture, and demonstrating that you’re willing to listen when needed, are powerful ways to stop bullying before it starts.
Final Thoughts
Workplace bullying can be incredibly isolating, but you are not alone. If you’ve read this and had a lightbulb moment—realising that this is exactly how you feel at work—know that what’s happening to you is not okay. You spend so much of your life at work, and you pour mental and emotional effort into making your time there a success. You deserve an environment where you feel valued, respected, and safe.
Taking the first step and recognising bullying is the key. From here, you can begin to take action, reclaim your confidence and wellbeing, and move towards a workplace and professional culture we all have the right to enjoy.
Tackling the toxic effects of bullying is one of my specialities, and I’ve recently supported a large business through a very difficult case of bullying, and out the other side. If you would like some expert support in dealing with an issue, either as a manager or as a victim, I would love to hear from you Contact – How To Talk At Work